The Melancholy of Balalaika: The Babysitter
by Deadi1025
Summary: The Twins return with their usual mischievous antics but this time, big mamma Balalaika isn't there to keep them in line. While the parents are away, who can they possibly trust to hold these devil children in line? Who else but the Sitter who appear to be ready for the job.
1. Chapter 1

The Melancholy of Balalaika: The Babysitter

"Emergency numbers are on our billboard next to phone." Balalaika elaborated hurriedly as she carried her handbag and her luggage out the door. "There's food in the microwave and enough food are stocked in the fridge and the pantry.

"C'mon darling." Chang called out from outside the house. He was struggling with the extra baggage as he was heaving them into the family sedan. After giving himself a sigh of relief he honked the car's horn. "We're gonna be late. I don't want to get stuck on traffic any more than you do so lets go."

"Coming!" Balalaika called. "Just one more thing!"

"The babysitter is running a little late but said that she'd arrive in a while" Balalaika said to the twins. "Treat her nice for me and please behave yourselves while we're gone."

"Don't worry about it mother." Hansel said. "We know how to handle our guests well."

"We'll listen to all she says and stick to our curfew." Gretel said. "We'll be good angels."

With a bright but wry smile, Balalaika gave each twin a kiss on the forehead. The smile quickly turned dark as she looked at the twins an inch away and her eyes dug into them.

"I hear one peep from her, or hear from the neighbors, or the cops," she said in an ominous whisper. "I'll kill you."

Reverting back to her motherly persona, Balalaika gave them another kiss goodbye before making for the door. She gave them one last look with a smile before departing.

"Why do I get the feeling that this isn't gonna end well?" Balalaika mumbled as she made her way to her visibly impatient husband.

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"Who do you think mother is sending over to watch us, brother?" Gretel asked playfully.

"I don't know, sister." Hansel shrugged. Trying hard to hold back a wicked grin. "I do hope that it would be someone fun again… like that blonde girl from last week. What was her name again?"

"Oooh. I remember her. She was the cheerleader girl with the ponytails, yes. Eda was her name was it? We had so much fun with that one."

"Yes it was, sister." Hansel laughed. "Do you remember how we had her do one of her cheers one time?"

"Oh yes, dear brother. That was so entertaining and I am not talking about the sensual dancing. Oh no. But seemed to enjoy it, did you brother?" Gretel added with a teasing tone.

"What can I say? I'm a growing boy." Hansel shrugged with a laugh. "But I enjoyed gluing her Pom-Poms more. And she didn't notice a thing."

"You are a nasty one." Gretel pouted. "Using my insects to lace those tassels of hers! How…cruel of you indeed."

"How about the other one after that?" Hansel inquired after they ceased their fair share of laughter. "Jane was it?"

"Was that the Chinese girl?" Gretel asked. "The one who came to our house the next day and started throwing knives at us for making her fail her English test?"

"HA! I almost forgot about that! She was so naïve to believe everything that comes out of our mouths. But no, sister. That wasn't the one." Hansel corrected her. "Jane was the big chested Indian nerd."

"Oh! Of course. My mistake, dear brother." Gretel replied with enthusiasm. "She was even more enthusiastic in our games than the other. Especially when we took her laptop she was hogging to herself the entire evening."

"Indeed, my dear sister, indeed." Hansel mused. "Do you recall how long she chased us about the house and into the streets? All the while we take turns with tossing it between us just for the heck and for her confusion."

"I remember her screaming like a maniac the entire time while we hacked her computer and sent her embarrassing photos online." Gretel tittered as she recalled. "Though it was sad that the neighbors ended up calling in the police and got her hauled off somewhere. Our fun was cut short."

"She didn't even gave me the satisfaction of catching up with me throughout the chase." Hansel blew boringly on his brow. Looking at Gretel fixedly, he said. "Promise me you won't grow jugs like those, sister."

"I can't make any promises, brother. You HAVE seen mother after all"

"Hmmmm." Hansel shrugged. "Very well."

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Meanwhile, the parents were driving along the highway. Off they went to their holiday to a land far away. Away from the stress and the troubles from home. Such a respite would have been most welcomed by a family of Balalaika and Chang's caliber. The former however could not help but look back.

"Oh I do hope they will be fine while we're gone." Balalaika fretted in her seat. "I always feel like something terrible is bound to happen whenever we leave those 2 alone. I can already hear the fire alarms."

"Don't worry so much over nothing, darling." Chang replied confidently from behind the wheel. "I set up the fire alarm and hooked up the security system just before leaving. If anything pops up, we'll know. Plus there's no need to fret so much. Those two are tough and smart kids. They get it after us after all. And believe me we need this vacation, Laika."

Chang held her hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Oh believe me I'm not worried one bit over the kids." Balalaika replied haughtily. "I raised them myself after all. No. I'm more worried for the sitter and I know what our darling little children are capable off."

"For your information little lady," Chang pointed out. "But I also kept that in account. I am also those kids' father you know. This one can handle whatever mischief those kids. Might be even in their same caliber."

"So where did you find this new sitter of ours?"

"A buddy of mine who works in the Health and Food Department of the Company suggested her to me. You know him, Laika. We met him in the Company's Dinner party a few weeks ago. He was the one of the caterers there. Serving the red meat and chilly."

"Oh right." Balalaika recalled. "Sawyer, right? He wasn't that good in talking is he? A large man too but I have to say that he kinda scared me because of…you know."

"Yeah. I admit the guy can be a little intimidating cuz of his size but I swear the guy's a gentle giant. He tends to keep to himself at times but is really good and dedicating his work. Especially when it comes to food." Chang said. "I swear, most of the guys even say that he spends his break times alone in the kitchens carving meat like it was a Picasso."

"And you managed to talk to this guy despite all that?" Balalaika said rhetorically.

"What can I say, I'm a people person." Chang said casually.

"And here I am guessing that he's not the man meeting our children now is he?"

"Of course not." Chang chuckled. "He may be good with kids but he isn't in the same caliber as our little tykes. We're having his daughter do it for us."

"And you think she has what it takes to handle our little devils?"

"I guarantee it." Chang tilted down his glasses, revealing his dark eyes. Chang rarely does this but when he did, it was a sure sign that he meant it and was confident that the sitter would be no pushover. "And she's also quite the clean freak too last I heard."

00000000000

The twins watched at the passing cars and waited anxiously for their sitter to arrive at their front porch. Already they thought of mischievous pranks and shenanigans their tiny demented minds could imagine. From bombs in the toilet, to roaches blowing out from the vacuum, to rodents popping out of the faucets the twins thought of one demented idea after another. Time flew like fast due to their eagerness that it took them a second to notice a curious vehicle that is coming to their street.

Like their namesakes before them, Hansel and Gretel held their breaths and their eyes glistened in awe as they watched their candy house slowing down in front of their house. Unlike the fairy tale however, it was anything but majestic but the twins were watched it in wonderment.

Their candy house came in a shape of a busted up pick up truck with cracked windows and dirt-rimmed wheels. It coughed out black fumes and fire that looked as though it came right from hell. For our two sick little psychos, this is everything short of a fantasy coming true for them.

When the truck stopped it's trembling and the fumes all but gone, the twins fidgeted for a closer look with eager eyes at their new victim. Their eyes grew wild in alarm as they watched a hulking giant of a man exit the vehicle. He had a mass of greasy hair cluttered around his face. Brown smudges of something were smeared all over his clothes and looked as though he was fresh from the butchers shop.

They watched the hulking man carry out tiny crimson luggage with key chains out from the back of his truck. One could only wonder what their parents were thinking about when they decided to hire a man who could rip them apart at a glance or worse. But this didn't trouble the twins; instead they were getting downright excited at the challenge.

Their smiles quickly faded as they saw another character exit the vehicle. To their disenchantment, it looked like that this pale, skinny and delicate girl was going to be their babysitter. The children sighed in disappointment. It looked as though it was going to be a normal weekend for the children after all. Nonetheless, they put up their best smiles and met their precious new victim to their doorstep.

As the twins met their new sitter face to face their malicious and eager smiles changed to one of extreme curiosity and wonder. Evidently there was something peculiar about this girl as compared to the others they have encountered before. A very peculiar aura of oddity emits from the girl based on her looks alone.

She was a short girl. No more than a few heads taller than the twins with a guess of being no older than her mid 20's. She had a mess of raven black hair that was kept in place by a headband. Her skin was pale beyond comparison. The twins could not guess if it was all just make up or that she bathes in milk and ash but they are sure that she would glow under the bright moonlight. This was matched only by her dark make up on her face and the black gothic attire she wore. It gave her a look of a ghost that haunts people's dreams or better yet, a recently resurrected vampire who has yet given a taste of blood.

There was also this stench of something foul that entered the room the moment the door opened. It was a putrid smell of meat and rotting objects that was enough to make someone gag or run to the bathroom. The twins, who have been exposed to a fair share of decay due to their own sick experiments, simply found this enticing especially since it came from their new sitter.

As what is to be expected for our young psychotic duo, these elements suited them just fine. They saw her as something akin to a fairy in their sick imagination. This weekend turns out will not become a boring affair as they first expected it.

00000000000


	2. Chapter 2

"Hello!" Gretel greeted with a bright smile and a playful tone. "You must be out new Sitter. It's nice to meet you. My name is Gretel and this one next to me is Hansel."

"Nice to meet you. Welcome to our house." Hansel beamed with his husky voice and added a theatrical bow. "It's not much but it's home. Please take good care of us."

The twins looked at each other with glee. Proud of their brilliant performance, they now waited anxiously for their Sitter to respond. Expecting that she'd buy their act and make their job a lot easier. The Sitter instead looked at them with dull eyes and has yet to pipe a tune. They couldn't get anything out of her by looks alone but something hints that she wasn't a normal person. The words weird and evil weren't enough to describe this Sitter's aura.

The gothic woman stayed put and spoke not a word. Her blank grey eyes pierced at the two children - who shuddered at its eerie aura - before changing her gaze at what was behind them. She slid past them and entered the house uninvited and again, as silent as a ghost. As she passed by them they could literally smell something rotten flying in the air around her but not a single fly was in sight.

The children watched as their Sitter began eyeing through their family knick-knacks and pictures with curious interest. As if she were in a trance. Sometimes she would take a moment's pause in front of a picture and scratch her already ruffled hair before moving on. The children were not sure what to do in response to this. They nudged each other with glances, asking each other - as if telepathically - on how to act on the awkwardness of the situation.

"Show her around?" Hansel sighed. Gretel simply shrugged in agreement before snapping back to her cheery persona.

"Would you like us to show you around?" Gretel tapped at their Sitter as she spoke cheerfully. "We'd be happy to give you the full tour of the house. It'll be fun."

"C'mon now." Hansel said as he pulled on the Sitters hand and led her around the room. "No need to be shy. We won't bite. We'll show you the backyard since you saw the better part of the house already. There're more cool stuff there."

"Yeah! Let's go to the backyard." Gretel said. "The sun is up and we could all use some fresh air."

The backyard was a large and vibrant space of green and well cut grass. Flowers grew beautifully and gave the garden with bright colors at full bloom. A series of potted plants were lined up on the corner with some hanging by the fence. Signposts that read chili peppers, black peppers, mustard and other out of place crops were written shabbily with a pencil were staked in the pots with the growing plants. Large bags of fertilizer lay slumped to the ground next to it.

Tall hedgerows loiter by the garden's wooden fences and surrounded the whole backyard. What's even more amazing was that the bushes were carved in the shapes of different animals in the most creative of poses. There was one with a horse at full gallop, a large dog chasing a Frisbee, a cat stretching its back with its tail reached for the sky were some of the most notable.

"We all had a part in making all these." Gretel said. "Mom did the flowers, we did the plants and dad did the hedges. We all are pretty creative aren't we?"

"It's just about the only thing that we've ever done together." Hansel added. "Pretty cool huh? Took us about a few weeks or a month to finish. It was a tough job but I gotta say that it was the best time I've ever had."

Under his breath he mumbled something that sounded like, "Wish we had more of those."

"Hey! Over here!" Gretel called over to them. "Lucy just woke up! I think he wants to play."

"Yeah! C'mon. You'll like him. He loves to meet and greet new people." Hansel said as he hastily tugged at their Sitter. Noticing the confused look in her eye, Hansel explained. "Lucy is our pet dog. Been in our family for a really long time. Ever since he was a little mutt we found outside our street and took him in. We had him ever since"

What he said was not that far from the actual truth. They DID find the puppy outside of their street shivering in the rain and took it in with warm open arms. However, it wasn't theirs to keep and the dog's owners soon found and demanded the dog back. Not wanting to start any trouble, the twin's parents agreed and in tears bade farewell to their darling pet. As far as the twins were concerned, it was very far from over. They wanted their dog back whether it was theirs to keep or not and the twins ALWAYS get what they want.

So at the dead of night they snuck into the owner's house and to take back their dog. The only thing they were afraid of was if to bark at them and wake up the house only that it didn't. The dog apparently WANTED to come with them since it didn't say a peep and so all 3 walked back home with a happy tune. But not before leaving a surprise for the owners the next day.

It was all over the news when a dog's corpse was splattered all over the living room in gruesome fashion. Organs, brains and gore scattered itself on the furniture and even went as far as to have the intestines spinning on the ceiling fan, splattering more blood all over the room the entire night. It traumatized the owner's children. Everyone was convinced that all this was a robbery since some of the owner's valuables and cash were missing. The owners moved out of the house the next day.

Balalaika and Chang however thought better saw through the ruse. It had their children's names all over it. They couldn't do anything about it though. If they were to tell the cops, the children – or them – would be thrown in jail or worse have their reputation ruined. They could only admire how well thought out the plan was but it didn't stop them from punishing the children with one of it being to take care of the dog themselves. And if it were to die, it would be a punishment for the children in its own way.

"And now he's here. We took really good care of him so he grew up a little bit. He eats lots too but he never got fat cuz he loves to play around all day." Gretel added excitedly. "He's also really really cute! You'll really like him. So c'mon."

The doghouse stood in the very end of the garden. It was placed on the corner next to the thick bushes that line up on the tall wooden fence. Nothing more than a tiny little house for a pint-sized dog, no taller than the children's chest. The name 'Lucifer' was stamped on its door.

"Dad's pretty good with power tools too." Hansel said. "But we helped him out with making this one though. Lucy get's too playful however sometimes. We might need to fix it up soon."

The Sitter took notice of this and was intrigued by the oddities. The boards were scratched and battered the likes of which would come from claws and sharp teeth. Before she could investigate more of the matter, the bushes nearby started shaking violently. The chains from the half bitten post came to life and swept the leaves away.

The Sitter gave a soundless scream as she was thrown back and her eyes widened when an enormous ebony-black hound emerged from the bushes. Larger than the Sitter and the twins combined, the hound charged forward and barked so loud that the neighbor's car alarm went off. Its eyes were hellish red and its teeth were bared with spit slobbering from its foamy mouth. The Hound was only an inch away from ripping the Sitter apart before its chains ran out and stopped short. Barking thunderously, it thrashed and jumped in place. The Sitter took the opportunity to crawl away and catch her breath from a safe distance.

"Hahahahaha!" Gretel bubbly laughed. Her foot was on top of the chain. "He's really playful isn't he? He gets so carried away sometimes but he does like meeting new people. Don't you boy?" Gretel said as she rolled the large dog on the grass and began rubbing its belly.

"He likes her already, sister. He's already jumping in joy. Ain't he a riot, miss-" Hansel asked as he reached out a hand to help the stunned Sitter up. Hansel then remembered something he forgot to mention. "Oh yeah. We never got your name. What is it if I may ask?"

The Sitter ignored the seemingly helpful gesture and stood herself up after patting off the dust off her skirt. Expecting the usual silent response from the girl the children turned their heads and made for the door. Quietly snickering under their breaths, vainly trying hard to forget the hilarious look the girl made in meeting Lucfer.

"**Cute dog." **

The children stopped on their tracks and looked at each other curiously. Wondering what in the world made that sound. It was like a cross between the buzzing of a doorbell and Stephen Hawking on crack. Peering behind them, they watched in wonder as they're enigmatic Sitter stand before their hound and gave it a reassuring pat. Surprisingly, they noticed that Lucifer had a small pang of fear in his eye as she went past.

"**My name is Frederica. By the way." **The Sitter spoke in monotone. Hissing for breath after every pause. "**But people call me…Sawyer."**

"…" The twins were speechless. Still stunned by the surprise, they couldn't find the right words to say in response. It was almost as if they had forgotten the next line in a Theatre act. It was also a fact that made sense since for a moment there they had completely dropped their façade.

Hansel was the first to stepped up and cleared his throat. "Uhm. Nice to finally meet you, Miss-errr. Sawyer."

"**Pleasure's all mine." **Sawyer said with a smirk before lighting herself a cigarette. After blowing out a smoke her eyes motioned to Gretel. "**What's up with you…kid? Cat got your…tongue?"**

"Uhhhh." Gretel said awkwardly. "N-nothing. It's just that you surprised us that's all. We didn't know that you could talk after all this time. Sorry"

"**Don't…sweat it, kid." **Sawyer said. "**Talking's just not my thing."**

"Why's that?" Hansel asked. "And why do you talk like that? And with that?" Hansel motioned to her choker.

Sawyer raised her chin and revealed to the kids a large gash on her neck. The kids looked on with morbid curiosity.

"Woah." Hansel observed. "Took 7 stitches too with something big too. Kinda reminds me of Frankenstein. All you need now are the bolts on the neck."

"Oh my." Gretel asked sincerely. "What happened?"

"**Just some accident. From a while back." **Sawyer waved off with an impatient hand. "**Nothing you kids should…worry about."**

"Awwww." Hansel moped. "But things just got exciting just now. And here I thought that you were just a dull bore being all quiet and stuff just now."

Sawyer scowled at the comment and glared at the foolish child. Before she could say anything back, whether in sympathetic or bad intentions, we cannot know since Gretel had the next word and unintentionally calmed a coming storm.

"Now now brother." Gretel said as she motherly patted her brother on the head. "We don't need to ask anything that our new friend Sawyer doesn't want to share herself."

"Awwww. C'mon." Hansel whined. "Do we have to?"

"**Best listen to your sister kid." **Sawyer responded. **"You shouldn't badger people...like that. Especially something private."**

"Oh." Hansel shamefully lowered his gaze to the ground. "Sorry. I get too carried away that's all. But the truth is, you look like a pretty straight fellow, Miss Sawyer. I just wanted to get to know you more that's all."

"**Don't worry about it kid.**" Sawyer gave the child a light pat in the head and gave him a small smile. "**Tell you what. Make things easier for me here…then I **_**might **_**tell you."**

"I'll look forward to it." Hansel said with a beaming smile and a hand out between them while Gretel was making a motion of a hug.

A mocking smile carved itself on her face; Sawyer suddenly grabbed on to Hansel's thumb and pulled him close. She twisted him around and restrained him with her arms on his chest. Her hand still grabbed on to his thumb and held on it tightly. At the same time, Sawyer grabbed Gretel by the collar and inhumanly lifted her off an inch off the ground.

"P-please. S-stop-p. It hurts!" Hansel said in haste as he unsuccessfully tried to escape the painful embrace. "Y-you're breaking my arm!"

"W-what are you doing, Miss Sawyer?" Gretel cried with tears crawling down her eyes. "Put me down! Please! Y-your sc-scaring me!"

With an indifferent and slightly bored mood, Sawyer blew a gust of smoke at the two children's faces. Immediately the children stopped their thrashing and began coughing violently through the smog. Despite seeing their parents smoke in their own time, they never smoked in the same room with the twins. They also especially never blew smoke straight in their faces no matter how drunk they can get. It didn't shut the kids up completely but it gave Sawyer enough room to give her say.

"**Just to let you know…I never was a fan of jokes." **Sawyer said coldly. **"Especially not on me. Now drop the joybuzzer kid…unless I'll give you something to laugh about." **

"The hell is cough wrong with you-you, cough bitch!" Hansel exclaimed in pain and in between coughs. He elbowed the weird Sitter in the face as he struggled.

"**That hurt." **Sawyer said without flinching and responded by twisting the child's arm and sent him shrieking in pain. "**Don't make me…ask again."**

Defeated, Hansel had no choice but to comply. He dropped his make shift joybuzzer to the ground. Despite its patchwork design, it had the dangerous look that could burn through someone's skin while giving him a shock of a lifetime. How Sawyer had figured him out at a glance, Hansel could not say.

"**I hope you're not as…stupid as your brother here." **Sawyer said to Gretel who just stopped coughing. With her sleeve, the little girl wiped off her tears and unexpectedly spat in Sawyers face before sticking her tongue out mischievously.

"**Looks like you are." **Sawyer said and dropped Gretel to the grass. Hansel soon followed and fell on top of Gretel. "**So the sheep revealed themselves…as wolves at last. I was beginning to wonder when…you'd finally give up your lame act. I was starting to get…bored. (sigh) And here I thought…we could be friends."**

"Friends." Hansel sneered. "We've got enough friends. And we can do without them or you too as a matter a fact."

"All we ever need is each other." Gretel followed with her ever bright personality. "And we'll be enough to make you're life a living hell. Hihihi! And after this little hiccup, we'll make it even worse for you. And we haven't failed yet."

"**Says the brats who just got…owned on the first try." **Sawyer said passively. "**You don't scare me."**

"The bitch has a fancy way with words doesn't she sister." Hansel said. His voice changed to a sinister tone. "Even with that talky on her throat. But I gotta admit, she's smart. Most don't figure us out this early in our game."

"She didn't even get a single scratch after the first act." Gretel pouted. "You're pretty good at this aren't you, Miss Sawyer?"

"**I'm not just some…bimbo that your parents hired on the fly." **Sawyer replied. "**I've dealt with brats like you before. Most of them're from under my own roof. There's nothing you've got under your…sleeve that I haven't seen."**

"I think she's giving us a challenge, sister." Hansel said. "But I wonder if she's a good player? She got really pissed after the first round with Lucy. HAHAHA!"

"You wont have a good chance in winning if you're such a sore loser this early, you know. We have a lot more up our sleeves alright and we aren't anything like other kids. Normal or otherwise." Gretel said, desperately trying to contain her laughter but the dam soon broke. "HAHAHAHAHA! You should have seen the stupid look on your face after Lucy came charging at you! HAHAHAHA!"

"**You should have seen yours." **Sawyer grinned. Quietly chuckling under her hand. "**Bumbling like…idiots trying to hook me in with your…'innocence'. HA! Especially when you first heard me…speak. Ha! Ha! Ha!"**

The twins grumbled at the remark and pursed their lips in embarrassment. They could have thought of a good comeback but their attention was on Sawyer's laugh. It was very odd for them to hear and sent shivers crawling up their spine. It sounded very dull and very monotonous, like a broken answering machine stuck on the replay button.

"**Like it or not."** Sawyer said after she laughed her last note. "**I'm in charge here. Your parents…hired me with the…idea that I will get the job done…accordingly. Till they come back." **A Cheshire like smile started appearing on her face as she spoke. "**So try what you…will. Do your worst. Because believe me…when I say I can play along. There wont be a trick I haven't seen…myself. A trick I cant…outplay"**

"You sure have a way with words, lady." Hansel said in a slow, malevolent tone. "Especially for someone who has no fucking idea what the rule's are."

"But we'll set you up straight. You look like a tough cookie so this'll be fun for my brother and I." Gretel said cheerfully amid giggles. "I gotta say though, you sound pretty serious with that little pep talk. Hihihi!"

"**Trust me. I am." **Sawyer replied. "**Now go fix up…and just try your…worst."**

She stamped at the discarded joybuzzer and crushed it to pieces. Little sparks and a small trail of smoke emerged from it. Sawyer did this as a sign that she meant business before turning her heel and making her way back to the house.


End file.
